Although this question seems relatively simple, it is not always easy to answer. If you or someone you know has started to think that something might have gotten out of control, you might already have the answer.
When the presence of a substance, habit, or behavior begins to affect your work, relationships, and your ability to interact with people important to you, and/or your psychological well-being, even if it is considered “social” or “casual,” it is worth examining more closely.
A first step is self-observation. This means observing how, how often, in what contexts, and with whom the substance, habit, or action in question appears.
A second step is critical reflection. Some questions that could help here are the following:
- If I were to imagine an ideal relationship with this substance, habit, or behavior for myself, what would it be?
- How far is the current relationship from this ideal one? And if it is far, why?
- When did it start to get out of control?
- What were my intentions when I started using this substance, habit, or behavior?
- If I observe my life now, have the intentions with which I use them changed? If so, why? Am I okay with this?
Intentions are also worth examining during use. For example, are there times when I notice a shift in my intentions? For instance, I might start using a substance, habit, or behavior for fun, but during the process, this changes and leads to irritation, disappointment, anger, and emotional and physical discomfort?
If some of the above questions have troubled you, then it might be a good time to seek help. Seeking help shows strength, not weakness, as many believe. It shows that the individual is taking a stand on what they are facing and is willing to critically re-evaluate and renegotiate their self-concept and self-image.
